i want to be with him. and the fact that i cant have him kills me.
it fucking eats me from the inside out and i cant sleep cuz when i do, all i do is dream about the time we had together. all i can do is cry becuz he makes me feel whole. and to live without him is like living without brian.
8 wonderful years. and i didnt really know him until i was about 15 but it all changed dramatically after that one time of being there on the couch with him, of feeling his body next to mine and his arms wrapped around me.
all those wonderful feelings came rushing back to me as he pressed his lips against my forehead and whispered "ur beautiful"
i wish... he was here. and not sumwhere else. i could take a drive. i could go see him. but hes taken now, hes in a relationship, and even tho he hates it, its still immoral and illegal.
whatever. i dont regret sleeping with him when i did. not at all. i thought i would, but things change constantly and i guess, well.. that things aren't always wut they seem.
i dont know wut else to say. i have said enough.